best in my life

Have you ever thought of the past that had made you sad or deeply hurt? Well,i did.Just this morning when I woke up,I sat at the end of my bed thinking what would my life be if my dad was still here.I miss those times where he would turn off the television and told me to go study.I would just grumble to him and I had to read those books all afternoon.But now,it finally paid of to me.On the day he went away,I did not know exactly what was going on until I saw him lying on the hospital bed breathless and what more when he is already lifeless.My mother hugged him close and was crying.At that very moment I know that I had to see my other friends with their dad and me without mine.It was heartbreaking at that time.On the day his coffin was closed,I cried like I never cried before.It was worse when he was then burried.All the leaves fell down when we lit the candles at the cemetery.My cousin told me to no be sad.But,how can I not be sad after losing my dad who I loved.On my tenth birthday,I wished he was with me that time.On my eleventh birthday,I still did.And I did the same on my 12th birthday.Now on my thirteenth birthday,could I still wish the same thing or just let go because now i had grown and know that he is with god?
I myself can't seem to find the answer in my heart.All I can possibly want now is that m mother will stay with me till I achieved the best in life because I want her to see it and be with me that time.Without my dad,my mom had to work her sweat out to help me get the best things that she could get for me.How can I ever repay her if me myself can't seem to make her proud? But all I want is also to see my mother happy and proud of me as my dad would want that for me too.Eventhough I may not live the wealthy life,I am sure that my parents did the best for me in life.
"every time the sun rises,
I know it is a new beginning in life,
and everytime the sun sets,
I know another dy in life has ended."

********************i miss him*******************